Ben, The Bachelor: Just Another Dude

So this week we saw a whole new side to Ben. No, not that “Latin swagger” side that dons a white panama hat without a hint of irony, the frat-ish side that shows he really is just another dude.

Week after week these women have been touting him as the greatest thing since sliced (white) bread. Ben’s not my type, a friend on Facebook pointed out the striking resemblance between Ben and Francine from the Arthur which really sealed the deal there, but I could see how certain girls would find him attractive. Before this week he’d really just been super dorky, but that’s no crime, in fact, plenty of girls find that endearing. However, 2 things happened this week that, in my humble opinion, have completely ruined his nice guy ‘aw shucks’ image and revealed that Ben, the Bachelor, is indeed just another guy trolling for butt.

1. Ben picks personal trainer Elyse for a 1-on-1 date on a yacht. They have a nice enough time, or so it seems, until they’re sitting at dinner and he picks up the rose while he explains to her that he was looking to get to know her better on this date, but the conversation takes a turn for the worse as he says that that basically worked against her and she will not be getting the rose. Psych! Um, what? Why on earth would you pick the rose up if you weren’t going to give it to her? That’s just cruel. Elyse then goes into the usual melt-down why don’t you like me? what’s wrong with me? downward spiral, a reaction which probably wouldn’t have varied whether he picked up the rose or not, but have some class, man. The bottom line: not cool, Ben, not cool.

2. Emily attempts to apologize for throwing Courtney under the bus last week (I’ll admit, I did not see most of last week’s episode, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I’m back now). She botches the apology and basically goes right back into saying that Courtney is a two-faced whack-job. This is a tough situation because Emily is definitely right about cray-cray Courtney, but she did go into the conversation under the guise of apologizing for it and focusing on her own relationship with Ben, so he is also right when he points this out. However, dumby Ben, who is obviously picking with his pecker when it comes to Courtney, tells Emily, “I encourage you to drop it and tread lightly.” Excuse me? If a guy spoke to me like that he wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not to give me a rose, I’d be out of there. He may as well have told her to mind her f*%$ing business. This is totally the kind of speech a girl gets from a guy who is sleeping around on her and I think it says a lot about how he would be in a “relationship,” although this comment, along with his constant mentions of how he’s just looking for a serious relationship out of this and is NOT sure that he wants to get married, brings me right back to my theory that Ben is just using this show to score some serious butt.

Bottom line: Ben is a dude, a guy, a boy in men’s clothing (okay, that’s debatable, especially in this episode). Why women are competing for him is beyond me, but it’s entertaining (most of the time) so I’ll continue to watch.

Other fun items from this week’s episode:

Whoever yelled out “Puerto Rico does it better!” definitely owns one of those Blondes/Burnettes/Redheadds/Irish-girls/Italian-girls/German-girls/Runners do it better shirts from Urban Outfitters.

Chris Harrison’s clever “I HOPE to see all of you at the next rose ceremony” comment, which obviously meant that it was opposite day in the house and at least one girl would not be making it to said ceremony. Oh Chris, you tease us so.

Courtney’s “Be Nice” shirt complete with roses with thorns and threatening font.

Nicky’s pause when saying, “we’ve come all the way to this beautiful [pause]… Puerto Rico,” because she is obviously not sure if Puerto Rico is an island (it’s actually an archipelago and Vieques, which is the island they were on, is one of the smaller ones).

Kudos to the shaved ice guy for creating the most phallic “piraguas” I have ever seen. He even made it an oddly fleshy color. I wonder if the producers suggested he do that.

Courtney says that Kasie B. is a little girl and Ben needs a woman. So, then why does Courtney herself repeatedly speak in a baby voice? There’s a head scratcher for ya’.

My first though when I saw Courtney on the stairs to Ben’s room at the W Retreat and Spa was, “okay, where is she hiding the dead rabbit?”

I could go on about Courtney for pages, but the previews tell me she’s going to keep throwing loads of material my way, so I’ll end it here. ‘Til next week, this is the final paragraph.

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